Things I'm Not Allowed To Do In Equestria
by 111111111111112222222222111111
Summary: Hi, I'm a regular pony, and this is a little list of things that the Princess made me write, this way I don't forget what I'm not allowed to do. Wanna take a look?
1. 1 - 100

1. Princess Twilight Sparkle proper given name is not Princess Twilight Twinkle Shimmer-Glimmer Shining Arcona McSparkles.

2. I will not tell blank flanks that Discord eats blank flanks for breakfast. Or any other meal. And then tell them that if they inform anypony of the warning Discord will eat them next.

3. "I've heard every possible joke about Big MacIntosh's name" is not a challenge.

4. The proper way to report to Princess Celestia is "You wanted to see me, your Highness?" Not "I have it on good authority that you have no evidence."

5. Never, ever, attempt to correct Twilight Sparkle about anything.

6. There is no Interpretive Dance course offered at Celestia's School For Gifted Unicorns, and I should stop signing up for it every year.

7. I will not write forged letters home to the parents of Celestia's School For Gifted Unicorn's first years detailing the dark magic/rituals/spells they are learning.

8. Selling photoshopped pictures of Rainbow Dash and Soarin making out is not a way to earn money.

9. Big MacIntosh is not my "sugar daddy" and I will not claim he is.

10. -That goes double when Applejack is within earshot.

11. There is not now, nor has there ever been, a seventh Element of Harmony, and I am not the bearer of that Element, and this Element is not Annoyance.

12. Leaving mash notes signed "Your secret admirer, Rarity" on Spike's bed is both unfunny and cruel.

13. Trying to annoy Discord will lead to no good.

14. I am not allowed to introduce Pinkie Pie to paintball.

15. -Nor unbirthdays.

16. No part of any of Rarity's dresses is edible.

17. -I'm also not allowed to make any part of them edible.

18. Twilight does not have a sister named Trixie.

19. Any resemblance between Twilight and Trixie is coincidental.

20. I may not walk and drink from a cup while using one of Rarity's dresses.

21. Asking "How do you keep a purple Princess in suspense?" and walking away is only funny the first time.

22. I am not allowed to draw on the CMC flanks while they sleep and then tell them it's their cutie mark.

23. "All's fair in love and war" is not an official rule.

24. Asking Twilght, "So you and Shining did _everything_ together?" is ill advised.

25. "But Discord does it!" is not an excuse to do something.

26. I am not allowed to ask Rainbow Dash if I can borrow her newest Daring Do book and then pretend to lose it so everypony is forced to look for it for the next three hours.

27. -I am not allowed to do the same to Applejack's hat.

28. -Or Pinkie's party cannon

29. Fluttershy does not have relationships with her creatures, and I should stop implying that she does.

30. A grown-up dragon is not an appropriate date to the Grand Galloping Gala.

31. Sending love notes to Shining Armor and signing them 'With Love, Chrysalis' is not appropriate.

32. I am not to tell Cadance that I know all about her affair with Blueblood.

33. -Especially if it's not true.

34. -I also cannot tell the press about it.

35. -Or send a letter to Twilight Sparkle, Shining Armor, or either party's parents with the imaginary details

36. A chicken is not a proper Hearth's Warming Eve gift for Scootaloo.

37. Asking Applejack how her parents are doing is just cruel.

38. I will not walk up to Discord and Celestia and say they're the perfect couple.

39. - Nor will I tell that to Flashy Sentry and Princess Twilight Sparkle.

40. - Nor Big Mac and Fluttershy.

41. I may not refer to Flim and Flam as Hikaru and Kaoru.

42. I will not tell Celestia that she's too freaking lazy to do stuff herself.

43. Pound and Pumpkin are not "Thing 1" and "Thing 2"

44. -Nor are they "Tweedledee" and "Tweedledum"

45. Applejack, Rarity and Trenderhoof never had a threesome, and I should stop implying that they did.

46. There are no evil clowns living under my bed, Twilight is already tired of making sure of it every night.

47. I will not attempt to confuse Snips and Snails by calling them by each other's names.

48. I must not start any Friendship Report with "I recently had an experience I just had to write you about…"

49. Celestia doesn't want to read (in graphic detail) my Friendship Report about everything I learned from my friendship with benefits.

50. I will not create a betting pool on that Celestia is Twilight Sparkle's mother.

51. I am not able to see the Grim Reaper, nor am I to claim that he is standing by Princess Celestia, tapping an hourglass and looking at her impatiently. Or, for that matter, Princess Luna.

52. "Non-Flammable" is not a challenge.

53. Claiming the voices inside my head made me do something is not an adequate excuse for anything.

54. -Nor is claiming my evil twin did it.

55. I am not my own long-lost twin.

56. I will not create a pin-up calendar of the Apple Family mares and call it "Big Mac's Angels".

57. Twilight Sparkle doesn't find a sign saying, "The library is closed for an indefinite time period" amusing in any sense.

58. I will not ask Applejack how she knows that Bloomberg is a boy, as I'm not sure I even want to find out.

59. I am not allowed to have a movie studio.

60. -Especially not a pornographic movie studio.

61. -Not even if they are "especially pro-friendship films"

62. -Princess Twilight Sparkle does not wish to participate in my amateur porno and I should stop asking.

63. I am not allowed to make an Equestria Fight Club.

64. After an argument with AJ I am not allowed to comeback with "Go cry to your mama!"

65. I will not try to lure a hydra inside the Ursa Major's cave to see what creature will make it out alive.

66. I will not sell tickets to WATCH a hydra and an Ursa Major fight each other.

67. I will not challenge Rainbow Dash and Twilight to a "3 winged race" no matter how funny the outcome would be.

68. I will not ask Spike to find me the hentai section.

69. Even if he knows what a hentai is.

70. Telling the CMC that to get a cutie mark they have to do a sonic rainboom, travel to Manehattan on hoof by themselves, find a giant rock full of precious stones, make a magical explosion, hatch a dragon's egg (using nothing but magic), and then in the end throw a party at a rock farm where everypony they know is invited is not funny, or allowed.

71. I am no longer allowed to call unicorns 'horny ponies'.

72. -Even if they're horny.

73. I cannot change all dictionaries to have "Rainbow Dash" as the definition of "awesome".

74. Coming up behind Cheerilee, while she and Big MacIntosh are talking to each other, and yell "Oh, go on and kiss him already!" is not funny.

75. -Even if the CMC agree with me.

76. I will not try to explain the laws of physics, not even for the sake of argument.

77. I will not give Fluttershy Pokémon cards and convince her that they are real animals.

78. If the thought of something makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.

79. Snips is not a bowling ball, and Snails is not a bowling pin. I will not attempt to prove otherwise.

80. I am not allowed to lock Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich in a closet to see if crazy party pony sex will occur.

81. -I am not allowed to lock anypony in a closet to see if any kind of sex will occur.

82. "To conquer Equestria with an army of flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice.

83. -No, not even if I'm green.

84. The Lunar Rebellion is not now.

85. The Princesses names are Celestia, Luna, Mi Amore Cadenza and Twilight Sparkle, not Molestia, Woona, Lovemaker and Smartflank.

86. I am not in charge of the human universe.

87. There is no such thing as the human universe.

88. I will not give, sell, copy, leave laying out for him to find, or otherwise let Discord know the contents of this list.

89. I cannot lock Discord and Celestia in a room together and take bets on which one will come out alive.

90. Playcolt magazines aren't allowed inside Twilight's Library.

91. I am not to convert ponies to the Dark side.

92. I am not allowed to make a sign that says, "COME TO THE DARK SIDE, WE HAVE COOKIES!" and post it in the Castle.

93. The Dark side does not have cookies.

94. No matter how vast the uses and entertaining the results, I will not indulge in fun with duct tape.

95. -This goes double for superglue.

96. I will not offer to sell new creatures to Fluttershy.

97. -Especially not if I actually have said creatures.

98. I'm not allowed to use silencing spells on the Princesses.

99. -I'm also not allowed to use silencing spells on ponies.

100. -I'm not allowed to use silencing spells, period.

**I'm open to suggestions for more things that I can't do!**


	2. 101 - 200

101. I am not allowed to jump from a roof to see if I can fly due to my pegasi ancestry.

102. -I am not allowed to ask Rarity to do the same, as she will turn me in and get me put in a padded cell at Ponyville Hospital.

103. I am not allowed to escape Ponyville Hospital's insanity ward.

104. -I am not allowed to send random patients to the insanity ward to prove my point about it being easy to escape.

105. - I am not allowed to send Rarity to Ponyville Hospital's insanity ward. Even if she sent me there in the first place.

106. -I am not allowed to send anypony to Ponyville Hospital's insanity ward.

107. - No, not even Pinkie Pie.

108. Soarin has no interest in going down "to the paradise city, where the grass is green and the mares are pretty" and I should stop sending invitations to the aforementioned place.

109. Under no circumstances am I allowed to sing the entire soundtrack of ANY Bridleway musical in public.

110. -Especially Hinny of the Hills.

111. I will not ask Applejack if Rarity is good in bed.

112. -I will also not ask about Rainbow Dash.

113. -I will also not ask Rainbow Dash if Pinkie Pie is good in bed.

114. -I will also not ask Pinkie Pie if Twilight Sparkle is good in bed.

115. Sweet Apple Acres is not holding auditions for Equestria's next top model and I should stop telling Rarity otherwise.

116. Twilight doesn't find it amusing to have her books charmed to chorus 'Twipie is best shipping!'

117. -Or 'Twixie forever!'

118. I will not point and laugh at Twilight, exclaiming how all the things that Pinkie sensed were actually true.

119. Applejack has neither the time, nor the inclination to hear about what I did with sixty dozens of apples.

120. When Princess Twilight lectures me. Again. I will not yell "HEY! TWILY HAS A BOYFRIEND!" for everypony within earshot hear. Again.

121. Pinkie is NOT always drunk on hard cider and I should stop implying that she is.

122. -The same goes for Cheese Sandwich.

123. -Changing cider to other drink changes nothing.

124. I did not see Rainbow Dash making out with Applejack, Pinkie Pie, or Fluttershy in the library, therefore I should not tell Twilight loudly about it in the middle of Ponyville.

125. Spike is not Rarity's secret lover, no matter how much he wants to be.

126. -Saying he's "obviously not good enough..." is just cruel.

127. It's common knowledge that dragons and gryphons cannot interbreed with each other, therefore I may not try to convince Spike that he should try to woo Gilda just so I can see their babies.

128. Fluttershy's cottage is NOT fireproof.

129. It is painful to play leapfrog with unicorns.

130. Getting Rainbow Dash drunk and steering her toward a sleeping Rarity is just a bad idea all around.

131. If I make another Twixie fanfic, Twilight has every right to strangle me.

132. There is no such thing as the "Headless Horse" or the "Olden Pony".

133. -Even if I do conjure them up.

134. I'm not allowed to challenge Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash to cider drinking contest.

135. -I will lose either way.

136. "She started!" is not a excuse.

137. Giving a mare a bouquet of flowers is lovely, giving a mare a bouquet of poison joke is not.

138. Neither Fluttershy or Twilight is my waifu.

139. Rainbow Dash is not out to steal my waifu.

140. -Especially because I don't have a waifu.

141. I'm not allowed to openly flirty with Cadance when Shining Armor is around.

142. The Elements of Harmony are not Frisbees, and they shouldn't be used as such.

143. I am not allowed to steal AJ's cider.

144. I am not allowed to buy all the cider during cider season just to mock Rainbow Dash and everypony who wanted a mug.

145. I'm not allowed to teach Opalescence how to swim, no matter how much I think it would benefit her.

146. Gryphons don't take nicely to being asked if they want a cracker, nor they like being called 'Polly'.

147. I'm not allowed to prepare royal guards to war by declaring food fight.

148. -Especially if they're having lasagna for dinner.

149. Spin the bottle is not a Princess approved sport, therefore I should not attempt to create an international league.

150. Pinkie Pie is not on drugs

151. -Nor will I give her some.

152. The Wonderbolts should not be referred to as "Soarin's harem and a moderate amount of cross-dressing colts".

153. -Even if that is an accurate description.

154. I'm not allowed to videotape Cadance and Shining Armor private time and sell it to the crystal ponies.

155. -No, not even if I share my profit with them.

156. -Publishing the graphic details of one's love life is frowned upon by the older half of society. The rest of society is turned on by it. Neither of which is something Shining Armor and Cadance want to happen.

157. I will stop looking through old genealogy scrolls to see if Blueblood's actually related to Celestia.

158. Sufficiently advanced technology is NOT indistinguishable from magic.

159. I will not offer to help Chrysalis take over Equestria in exchange for Fillydelphia and Manehattan.

160. I will not write M rated incest fanfiction about Twilight Sparkle and Shining Armor, then hand it out to everypony.

161. -This especially includes friends, parents and subjects.

162. -If Cadance ever gets a copy, I'm dead.

163. I'm not allowed to call Celestia a 'fat flank'.

164. -Even if I run really fast.

165. -Crying is not going to help my cause.

166. I will stop insisting Applejack's in love with Bloomberg.

167. I will not switch my book with Twilight's when she's not looking.

168. I will not use Canterlot's Castle to host a 'Twilight needs some sugar' party.

169. Screaming out "I saw Braeburn and Little Strongheart kissing under an apple tree!" in the middle of Appleloosa is not appropriate.

170. -Nor in any other place.

171. -Even if everypony finds it amusing.

172. Hit Snips or Snails on the back of the head to see if they have any brain cells to lost is not considered an appropriate experiment.

173. -Even if it proves that they don't.

174. I will not create the magical equivalent of a Nuclear explosion. That's just silly.

175. I will not bet on how many paper planes stick in Princess Twilight's mane.

176. Princess Sparkle does not find the phrase "Flashy Sentry is my baby daddy" remotely humorous, especially when written on any of her books.

177. I will not use Starswirl's time travel spell to go into the past and seduce one of my parents, thereby ceasing to exist, which means I could not have gone into the past and seduced one of my parents, which means I do exist, which means I can go back and... oh, never mind.

178. Demanding to the Princess why her best unicorns aren't making researches on alternative food sources for changelings is highly frowned upon.

179. -Writing a Frienship Report about it doesn't stop it from being rude.

180. -Writing TWO Friendship Reports likewise changes nothing.

181. -Even if I did say "Dear" at the beginning.

182. "Springtime for Discord" is not an acceptable suggestion for the school play.

183. -Especially if the title character is going to be played by himself.

184. Twilight no longer requires a foalsitter, nor does she need tucking in and "a bit of a cuddle" at bedtime.

185. -Not even if I insist that she does. And that her brother has hired me to provide said service.

186. I am not allowed to discuss my theory that Cheese Sandwich is actually the second cousin of Pinkie Pie.

187. I will not tell the Cutie Mark Crusaders that they should build a tree house in the Everfree Forest.

188. Announcing "Remember: Save a train! Ride a pony!" is not an appropriate way to conclude a speech about transports.

189. Rainbow Dash does not appreciate being called 'egghead'.

190. -Or 'Rainbow Crash'.

191. I must never sneak up behind Big MacIntosh and coo "How's my Little Macy?"

192. I will not tell AJ and Rarity to get a room every time they start fighting.

193. -Nor will I say this to RD and Twilight.

194. -Or Celestia and Discord.

195. Bungee jumping off Manehattan's bridge is against the rules, even if it isn't written anywhere.

196. If I am to mess up any of these rules I will have to clean every single restroom in the Castle for 3 months while I sing Equestria's anthem nonstop.

197. This list being used as a checklist is inappropriate, therefore I shouldn't do so.

198. Celestia will NOT teach me how to banish ponies to the Moon.

199. -However, I can get banished to the Moon myself if I don't stop asking.

200. I'm not allowed to destroy, lost, or hide this list.

**I'm open to suggestions for more things that I can't do!**


	3. 201 - 300

201. Teaching young foals to chorus in unison "the biggest egghead bookworm ever" whenever they hear the name Rainbow Dash is just wrong, funny, but wrong.

202. I may not trade the Elements of Harmony for any of the following: booze, sexual favors, porn, slaves, yearlings, tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala, or alicornhood.

203. -I'm not allowed to trade the Elements for "magic beans".

204. -I'm not allowed to sell magic beans in order to buy booze.

205. Celestia never had an affair with Starswirl.

206. I am not the reincarnation of Starswirl the Bearded.

207. Past lives have absolutely no effect on my kinship.

208. I'm not allowed to challenge Princesses to "meet me on the field of honor, at dawn".

209. I'm not allowed to threaten anypony with dark magic.

210. -I'm not allowed to challenge anypony's disbelief of dark magic by asking for hair.

211. I should not write letters to Chrysalis.

212. -Nopony cares that she's my pen pal.

213. -I may not get anypony else to write letters to Chrysalis for me, either. Letters to Chrysalis are, in general, a very bad idea

214. Making a slinky go from the top of the Crystal Castle to the ground level is not an appropriate pastime.

215. -Especially while singing the entire soundtrack of Hinny of the Hills until the slinky hits the bottom.

216. -Slinkys are banned from my presence for all of my time at Equestria.

217. Pinkie PIe is not addicted to parties and I will stop implying that she is.

218. I'm not allowed to dress exactly like Celestia and ask her to call me "mini me".

219. I may not try to eat a rainbow.

220. -Or any of Twilight's books.

221. -Or Spike's gems.

222. I really shouldn't ask Cadance if she prefers top or bottom.

223. -This goes double when Shining Armor is in the room.

224. -Triple if I wink at her.

225. "I'm drunk" is a bad answer to any question posed by anypony.

226. Nopony working at Ponyville Hospital is called 'Doctor Feelgood'.

227. I can't have flashbacks to events I was not present.

228. I'm not allowed to chew gum in class, unless I brought enough for everypony.

229. -I'm not allowed to chew gum in class even if I did bring enough for everypony.

230. Celestia is not old enough to have participated in the events of the Hearth's Warming Eve play, and I should stop implying that she did.

231. I'm not allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for any of my actions.

232. I am not allowed to eat Celestia's cake. It is a good way to get myself banished to the Moon.

233. Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does.

234. I am to stop asking Discord to go to the Grand Galloping Gala with me.

235. While nudism isn't a taboo in Equestria, walking around in nothing but lingerie is.

236. Modifying the old "pail of water over the door" trick to "pail of poison joke over the door" is really frowned upon.

237. I will not replace every single book inside Twilight's library with porn magazines.

238. No one at Ponyville will buy Rainbow Dash's gravy stained napkins and having proved this I will not try selling at Canterlot either.

239. -Even if interested buyers like Scootaloo found me right outside Ponyville, I shouldn't be selling Rainbow Dash's gravy stained napkins.

240. -It doesn't matter that she offered me five bits and a cupcake.

241. Nurse Redheart is not dealing.

242. Telling Shining Armor that he has a very big _horn_ is inappropriate.

243. I will stop insisting that 'doing a spell' is just a euphemism for lesbian sex.

244. There has never been and there isn't now a Even Greater and More Powerful Twixie and I'm discouraged from voicing that idea in front of the Great and Powerful Trixie.

245. I have been forbidden to say 'Spike, I'm your father!' to Spike ever again.

246. Golf Carts are supposed to be used on the Golf Course. Any other use is unauthorized. Like joyriding while drinking hard cider, then writing "Go Unicorns, Pegasi Suck" on them, and abandoning them right under Cloudsdale.

247. I am not allowed to teach the CMC any profanities in order to get a cursing/swearing mark.

248. Celestia's proper title is "Princess", not "Sun mare".

249. Princess Celestia and Princess Luna have heard all the "banished to the Moon" jokes before, and are very tired of them.

250. Saying that Cadance's special talent is 'lovemaking' may be correct but I shouldn't say it this way.

251. Applejack's name is just that, a name. I will not ask her to share.

252. Singing 99 buckets of oats on the wall nonstop repeatedly will result in serious punishment.

253. I should not confess to crimes that took place before I was born, even if I know Starswirl's time spell.

254. I am not allowed to use Starswirl's time spell to escape any or all of these rules nor any that may be added at a later date.

255. I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with the changelings.

256. I am not possessed by the ghost of Clover the Clever.

257. -Neither is Twilight Sparkle.

258. I am not a Vampire Slayer and Twilight Sparkle is not my Watcher.

259. -I am not to attempt to stake Fluttershy.

260. I am not allowed to let a Ursa Major/Minor running through Ponyville in memory of the Great and Powerful Trixie.

261. I am not the illegitimate lovefoal of any of the Princesses.

262. -Nor Discord's.

263. -Therefore calling any of them 'mom' or any variant is wrong.

264. Thunderhooves did not kill my father and does not deserve to die.

265. I will not follow spell instructions in reverse order to see what happens.

266. I will not follow anypony around saying "rainbow cupcake" at the most random moments.

267. Despite my personal beliefs, the Wonderbolts would not improved their shows with the use of firearms.

268. -Though they are doubtless more athletic, swords and battle axes are not acceptable either.

269. The loudspeaker system is not a forum to voice my ideas.

270. -The loudspeaker system is not to be used to broadcast the soundtrack to a porno movie.

271. I am not in need of a more suitable host body.

272. When asked to give a few words at any ceremony "Discord is best Princess!" is probably not appropriate.

273. The Princess decisions do not need to be ratified by a 2/3 majority.

274. I will no longer perform lap-dances while wearing Rarity's dresses.

275. -If I take the dress off during the course of the lap-dance it still counts.

276. Running a pool on "how much time it'll take until we figure out what exactly is Twilight the Princess of" is funny. Her finding out? Not so much.

277. I will not create a Troublemakers Hall Of Fame. As such it will not be where Discord's statue used to be, and won't have pictures of Luna and Derpy.

278. -I will also not have ponies vote for best troublemaker of the year.

279. I am not allowed to graffiti "best pony was here!" on my cell at Ponyville Hospitall's insanity ward right before I escape.

280. -I am not allowed to do the same to my cell at the Castle's dungeons.

281. -I am not allowed to do it to Twilight's library either.

282. -I am not allowed to use graffiti paint.

283. -I am not allowed to use paint, period.

284. -Or markers.

285. -Or crayons.

286. Unless I join the Royal Guard, I may not declare martial law.

287. -I may not declare martial law even if I _do_ join the Royal Guard.

288. I will stop sending Princess Twilight forged love notes that appear to be from Princess Celestia.

289. I not allowed to sneak up behind Applejack and Rainbow Dash while they are arguing about who is the bravest pony and yell, "YURI! YURI! YURI! LET'S SEE SOME YURI!"

290. "Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo" is not a real spell.

291. -Neither is "Jellylegs".

292. -That does not mean that I am allowed to perform any of them.

293. Princess Twilight's problem is not that "she needs to get laid".

294. I shouldn't use Photoshop to create incriminating photos of the Princesses.

295. I must stop referring to ponies by the embarrassing nicknames they acquired in their school days.

296. I'm not allowed out of my room when visitors from Saddle Arabia are here.

297. I may not refer to Sunset Shimmer as "Celestia's ex".

298. -Even if she technically is Celestia's ex.

299. If Applejack wanted to borrow my BDSM books, she would have said so already.

300. -Applejack is not into BDSM, no matter how much her rope makes me doubt this.

**I'm open to suggestions for more things that I can't do!**

NamikazeMinato Kiiroi Senko: thanks for the CMC cursing sugestion!

Guest: Thanks for correcting my mistakes!

uglymod: Your suggestion goes against the rule about locking ponies to see if sex will occur, but thank you anyway! Glad you like the fic!


	4. 301 - 400

301. If I ever have foals, their names are not allowed to be double entendres.

302. Sweetie Belle is not a robot, and I should stop implying that she is.

303. I'm not allowed to call Cheese Sandwich "Boneless".

304. I'm not allowed to lick Rainbow Dash to see if she tastes like rainbows.

305. -Or Applejack, to see if she tastes like apples.

306. Apple Bloom special talent isn't being useless.

307. Never tell Rainbow Dash "There's not enough room to fly under that!", unless you want her to try.

308. Silver Spoon's special talent is not spooning.

309. I'm allowed to give a crystal flugelhorn to Pinkie Pie.

310. I shall not imply that there's any type of sexual tension between Rainbow Dash and Applejack.

311. -Nor Applejack and Rarity.

312. I'm not allowed to shave Rainbow Dash's mane while she sleeps.

313. -If I do the same with Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash will make me pay.

314. Regardless of their bad taste, I'm not allowed to help Rarity redecorate Sweet Apple Acres without Applejack or Big Mac's permission.

315. Pinkie Pie does not have an inappropriate relationship with Gummy.

316. I am not allowed to "go to Las Pegasus and shake daddy's little pony maker for twenties stuffed into my tail".

317. Chrysalis' parents are not Swiss Cheese and a bug.

318. Discord wasn't born out of an orgy.

319. A rubber band and paperclip is not a real weapon.

320. -I'm not allowed to prove said weapon by firing at the first pony that walks by.

321. Polka is not an appropriate music to the Gala.

322. -It being Cheese Sandwich's idea changes nothing.

323. Princess Twilight is not interested in why I just happen to have a banana, an inflatable sheep, and a box of rubber bands in my bag.

324. -Bananas are bananas, not a part of the male anatomy.

325. I am not allowed to test out new spells on ponies.

326. Edible underwear is no longer authorized outside.

327. -Edible underwear is not to be eaten outside.

328. If I start seeing breezies, I've drank too much cider.

329. I'm not a ninja, and they CAN see me.

330. "I was cold" is a bad reason to sneak in Fluttershy's bed and sleep with her.

331. -Same goes for Big MacIntosh.

332. Gryphons do not consume the flesh of their fallen enemies to gain their strength.

333. I am not allowed to make inappropriate jokes about changeling's holes.

334. I am not allowed to offer to help Twilight Sparkle get laid.

335. Laxative is not to be liquefied and injected into the city's water supply.

336. I may not refer to Spike as the "weakest link".

337. I am no longer allowed to demonstrate indoors how a particularly dangerous spell works until I pay for the pictures, the china set, Granny Smith's new hip and the windows.

338. I will not speculate on how hot Auntie Applesauce used to be.

339. A picture of my ex is not an acceptable weapon against changeling infestation.

340. -Even if they are afraid of it.

341. Spike isn't Twilight's slave, he's just her unpaid assistant, totally different.

342. I am not allowed to use dragon's eggs to make omelets.

343. -Or any other food.

344. 'Fancy' is not a real language and I shouldn't tell AJ that it is.

345. Applejack does not own bondage supplies, and I should stop asking for her rope.

346. I'm not allowed to send a letter to Shining Armor about how much fun I had with Twilight last night.

347. -I'm also not allowed to sign it as Flash Sentry.

348. Starswirl's beard wasn't "compensating for something" and I should stop asking Luna about it.

349. -I won't ask Luna how she knows that Starswirl's beard wasn't "compensating for something".

350. Swear words are strictly forbidden in Equestria, even if Celestia doesn't remember setting up this rule.

351. I'm not allowed to use the want it, need it spell on myself.

352. -It doesn't matter that I'm feeling lonely.

353. Mrs. Cake never cheated on Mr. Cake, and I should stop implying that she did.

354. -Celestia cannot get another mare pregnant, so there's no way she can be Pound and Pumpkin's 'dad'.

355. -Luna and Cadance can't do that either.

356. Pinkie Pie never had a threesome with Mr. and Mrs. Cake, and I should stop implying that she had.

357. Regardless of the beautiful irony, I will not hang a tempting piñata on a timber wolf's tail.

358. I'm allowed to make inappropriate jokes about Rainbow Dash being "the fastest pony in Equestria".

359. -Or about how she only needs "10 seconds flat".

360. I shouldn't try to pair Discord and Chrysalis up just to find out what their baby will be.

361. I'm not allowed to teach the CMC about the birds and the bees.

362. -Nor Spike.

363. -Nor Pinkie.

364. I'm not allowed to say "eye-candy" ever again.

365. I'm not allowed to joke about Derpy's eyes, ever.

366. -Or Scootaloo's wing impotency.

367. Zap apples aren't an appledash symbol.

368. I'll not glue Celestia's royal flank to her throne. That's immature even for me.

369. I'm not allowed to kidnap Smarty Pants and hold it for ransom.

370. I am not allowed to refer to the royal treasury as my piggy bank.

371. -I'm not allowed to 'borrow' the royal treasury and never give it back.

372. -I'm not allowed to steal a dragon's booty in order to return the royal treasury.

373. I am not allowed to host a poker tournament in the royal treasury with the prize being 'winner takes all'.

374. I'm not allowed to give Drepy eyeglasses that would fix her cross-eyes.

375. -I'm not allowed to give Derpy eyeglasses take make nothing just because I think she looks cool with them.

376. -I'm not allowed to trick Derpy by doing something that messes her eyes even more than they already are.

377. I will not make inappropriate jokes about dragon's booty.

378. I'm not allowed to ask Doctor Hooves about anything Doctor Who-related, like TARDIS or sonic screwdriver or Daleks.

379. Just because I know Starswirl's time spell it doesn't mean I'm a Time Lord.

380. I'm not allowed to refer to Hearts & Hooves Day as Shipping Day.

381. -Nor as "Make a Shipper Happy" Day.

382. I'm not allowed to put love potion on Ponyville's water supply just to see what happens.

383. -I'm not allowed to use/produce/buy love potion.

384. I'm to stop asking Celestia why our land is named 'Equestria' if we have other sentient creatures.

385. Cerberus is not an appropriate pet.

386. -Timberwolves aren't that much better.

387. I'm not allowed to ask Discord to help clean my mess. Mostly because he messes up more than me.

388. I'm not allowed to switch Spike's comics for hentai when nopony is looking.

389. I may not challenge Luna and Button Mash to a videogame marathon.

390. -Especially because I'm obviously going to lose, and then Luna and Mash will try to kill each other after the game calls it a draw.

391. Rainbow Dash is not related to Scootaloo, so I should stop implying that she is.

392. -Scootaloo is not Rainbow Dash's illegitimate lovefoal.

393. I'm not allowed to teach Luna slangs.

394. I'm not allowed to use Starswirl's cutie mark switching spell in order to become a Princess.

395. -If I get Cadance's cutie mark, it doesn't mean that Shining Armor and I are married.

396. -I'm not allowed to use Starswirl's cutie mark switching spell, period.

397. I may not make inappropriate jokes about Applebuck season.

398. I may not, in any sense, buck Applejack or Big MacIntosh during Applebuck season.

399. -Buck BOTH of them is also not allowed.

400. I'm not allowed to call Trixie 'Blue Twilight'.

**I'm open to suggestions for more things that I can't do!**

Guest: thanks for the changeling suggestions!

XXPay4XtraShippingsXX: thanks for the Doctor Hooves & Derpy suggestions!

IcePhoenix85: thanks fot the royal treasury suggestions!

Tokyo Fox: thanks for the many suggestions!


	5. 401 - 500

401. I'm not allowed to have sex with my future-self, as nopony seems to agree if it was masturbation, regular sex or both.

402. -I'm also not allowed to have sex with my past-self to create a stable time-loop.

403. I'm not allowed to steal an Element of Harmony and replace it with a toy.

404. -"I was going to give it right back" does not help me.

405. I will not eat AJ's apples without her permission.

406. -If I eat the apples anyway, AJ will hurt me.

407. -A lot.

408. I'm not allowed to switch Twilight's regular spell books for dark magic books.

409. -No, I was not put under an evil spell to do so. I will stop insisting otherwise.

410. I'll not push large, red buttons, unless I'm asked to by a Princess.

411. -And I will make sure she isn't a imposter first.

412. I'm not allowed to announce the statistics for "most popular fanfiction pairing per pony".

413. -This goes double if I actually know all of them.

414. -The results usually lead to massive embarrassment from all parties involved, and they will surely beat me up for this.

415. I can't get Discord to help me perform any of these items since he'll probably make everything worse.

416. -I may not get Twilight Sparkle, Luna or any other socially awkward pony to help me, saying that these are perfectly ordinary things to do.

417. I'm not allowed to use any dangerous spell, unless it's my last resort.

418. -"I'm bored" is not a last resort.

419. "Because I can" has never been, isn't now, nor it will ever be, a valid excuse for doing anything stupid.

420. If I have to explain something, I'm not allowed to use: shadow puppets, charades, magic, a big musical number or coded messages.

421. I may not tell Twilight and Flash Sentry that I'm from the future and that they get married and have any number of foals.

422. -Nor can I do this to anypony else.

423. -In fact, lying about the future is only a good idea when I'm being interrogated by a villain.

424. Steve Magnet is not Spike's father.

425. I'm not allowed to ask Pinkie if she is brain-damaged or just on drugs.

426. I may not get permission to do anything on this list from any of the following: Discord, Chrysalis, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Luna, Cheese Sandwich, Vinyl Scratch, Granny Smith, Bulk Biceps, the CMC or anypony who is quirky or mischievous in general.

427. -The only ponies who can give me permission to do anything on this list are: Celestia, Shining Armor, Cadance, Twilight Sparkle, Cheerilee, Zecora, Applejack, Rarity and Big MacIntosh.

428. Nightmare Moon is not the Wicked Witch of the West.

429. -Celestia is not the Wizard of Oz

430. -Twilight isn't Dorothy.

431. -Spike isn't Toto.

432. -Cadance is not Glinda the Good Witch.

433. -In fact, I'm not allowed to make ANY kind of reference to the Wizard of Oz.

434. -I will also not call any mare 'Elphaba', since everypony has already read Wicked.

435. I'm not allowed to ask ponies which pairing they prefer.

436. I'm not allowed to send Celestia a petition in order to the anthem of Equestria be changed to Hearts as Strong as Horses.

437. -Or any song created by Pinkie Pie.

438. -You know what? Let's just not mess with patriotic songs.

439. I'm not allowed to _accidentally_ spill milk on any of Rarity's dresses.

440. -And I will not cry over the spilt milk.

441. -Nor will I try to lick the spilt milk.

442. -In fact, I am not allowed to have any drink near Rarity's dresses at all.

443. I'm not allowed to create a magical flamethrower chainsaw.

444. -Even if is a good idea.

445. -No matter how cool it looks.

446. -Nor I can justify it by saying "It's in case of a zombie apocalypse."

447. -And especially if I don't know what I am doing.

448. I cannot create any foal of the Princesses through genetic engineering and introduce them to their "parents."

449. I'm not allowed to inject alicorn DNA into my own body in order to become a Princess.

450. -I will either end up very evil, very crazy, very embarrassed or very dead. It's not worth the risk.

451. I'm not allowed to swap Princess Twilight Sparkle's crown for a clever fake.

452. I'm not allowed to redecorate the entire city for whatever holiday I came up with.

453. -Especially if I haven't asked the residents first.

454. I'm not allowed to introduce Pinkie Pie to Surprise. This will only lead to confusion and chaos.

455. I will not use muffins to bribe Derpy into doing anything on this list.

456. -Same goes for Rainbow Dash and cider.

457. As cool as it would be, Starswirl and Chrysalis are not my parents. I won't try to convince everypony of it.

458. Deliberately trying to make Apple Bloom sad is a very bad idea.

459. -This goes double if Big MacIntosh around.

460. -Or Applejack.

461. I cannot keep the dog version of Spike as a pet.

462. The ability to mimic Rarity's freak outs before, during and after them is not an endearing quality.

463. -Especially if I mimic her while she is having said freak outs.

464. I will stop telling Spike stories about his parents.

465. -Especially if they are not true.

466. Bully Fluttershy when Rainbow Dash is around is just a death scene waiting to happen.

467. Annoying the hay out of others is not a special talent, so I should stop trying to convince the CMC to give it a try.

468. I cannot create a "Discord: The Musical"

469. -Even if Discord approves.

470. -_Especially_ if Discord approves.

471. Just because another pony did anything on this list does not mean that I can do the same thing.

472. I will not give advices to any evildoer.

473. -Nor may I shave them out of the way and say "Here, let me show you how it's done."

474. -Even though I can do better.

475. Yes, there are many ambiguous romantic relationships among ponies. No, the best way to settle this is not through a poll.

476. I'll stop trying to get Applejack hooked on pears instead of apples.

477. I'm not allowed to say "chaos control" every time I teleport.

478. I will not call anypony an expy of a previous generation pony.

479. -Especially Applejack.

480. I can't erase the movie "Equestria Girls" from history.

481. Caps lock is not the "Royal Internet Voice".

482. I'll not get Rainbow Dash and Applejack to race Pinkie Pie and Lightning Dust.

483. Doctor Hooves isn't the new regeneration of the Doctor, and I will stop asking him where he keep the TARDIS.

484. I'm not allowed to convince Trixie that talking with a Hoofington accent will make others respect her.

485. -Her reaction when she finds out the truth makes it all worthwhile.

486. I'm not allowed to show Twilight the statistics for the number of ponies dismembered every year in simple teleportation accidents.

487. -Or to any unicorn who just learned the spell.

488. I'm not allowed to say "Twilight Time!" whenever somepony asks me what time is it.

489. I'm not allowed to replace any villain with a more challenging one.

490. I'm not allowed to 'borrow' Octavia's cello without her permission.

491. -Even if I know how to play it.

492. I'm not allowed to use the term 'flank spank' for anything, ever.

493. RD was nowhere near first pony to ever do a Sonic Rainboom, as many fanfics prove.

494. -I'll keep telling her this until she listens.

495. -The fanfic universe is cannon! All of it!

496. It's not appropriate to debate which villain is cooler.

497. -Same goes for magical creatures.

498. -And the Elements of Harmony.

499. I'm not allowed to supply false information to any villain to get them to kidnap Luna.

500. I will not do or say anything deliberately stupid or ridiculous just because it's not on this list.

**I'm open to suggestions for more things that I can't do!**

uglymod: thanks for the suggestion, but I think it's a little... _extreme. _Even for me.


	6. 501 - 600

501. I'm allowed to ask Luna if she wants to "join in" during one of my wet dreams.

502. Using Love Potion on ponies is illegal. Therefore I should not make Cheese Sandwich fall in love with Coco Pommel. Again.

503. -Same goes for Daring Do and Cranky Doodle Donkey.

504. -Daring Doodle is a stupid name for the pairing anyway.

505. Just because something isn't explicitly forbidden in the rulebook I don't have permission to do said thing.

506. -Especially if it would be 'awesome' or 'hilarious'.

507. I will not take anything on this list as a personal challenge.

508. I'm not allowed to bribe a changeling to turn into Rarity and tell everypony about her undying love for Spike… again.

509. I'm not Shining Armor. Cadance is not my 'waifu'.

510. -Giving her amnesia to convince her otherwise will get me killed.

511. Trying to convince Twilight that she has a long lost foal isn't very bright.

512. -Trying to convince Twilight that said foal's 'mother' is Trixie is not even to be considered.

513. I'm not allowed to dress up as a villain for Nightmare Night.

514. -Or any other time of the year.

515. I will not tell Fluttershy that she's completely useless.

516. -Or that she can't fly, because Rainbow Dash would beat me up for making her cry.

517. -And Pinkie Pie would help.

518. I'm not allowed to feed anypony to a manticore.

519. -Even if they're evil.

520. -They'd probably give it a stomachache, and then Fluttershy would kill me.

521. I will not tease Spike about the time he needed his pink flowery security blanket to comfort him when he had that bad nightmare about Molestia.

522. -Nor will I do the same thing with Twilight and Smarty Pants.

523. Trying to out-argue Twilight will only lead to trouble.

524. -And there's no way I'd ever win.

525. -Even if I'm right.

526. I'm not allowed to ask Celestia why all her guards are either grey or white.

527. I'm not allowed to blame Discord for every stupid thing I do because "Discord is my mentor".

528. -Nor can I say "Discord made me do it!"

529. -I'll also stop saying that Discord sounds like one of the voices in my head.

530. I'm not allowed to put badfic writers on trial, because the collective writers of the Mary Sue Court would all come after me for plagiarism.

531. Pinkie Pie and coffee are never a good combination.

532. Juggling with inanimate objects is alright. Juggling with relationships? Not so much.

533. I'm not allowed to make up prophecies, even if they rhyme.

534. -Especially not the "you're going to die" kind.

535. I will not yell "I saw Spike and Rarity last night!" anywhere.

536. I'm not allowed to create a "Family of Villains" support group.

537. I will not try and get zombies to eat Spike.

538. -Nor Cadance.

539. I'm not allowed to stalk anypony.

540. I'm not allowed to call Spike a "smoking hot sexy beast".

541. -Even if he is.

542. I'm not allowed to start a Cult of Discord/Nightmare Moon/Sombra/any villain.

543. -No, it isn't "insurance in case the good ponies lose", it's just stupid.

544. I'm not allowed to tell foals that the Olden Pony and the Headless Horse are just trying to frighten foals to power their city with screams.

545. -I'm also not allowed to tell them to use laughter, "because it's ten times as strong".

546. One-shot characters should not be constantly referred to just to see if anypony but me remember them.

547. I don't have a secret identity.

548. -Nor do I lead a double life.

549. -Even if I did, it would not be as Daring Do.

550. -Nor Trenderhoof.

551. -Nor anypony famous, really.

552. I'm not the long lost twin of anypony. I'll stop insisting otherwise.

553. I'm not allowed to resurrect Lord Voldemort or the Smooze to give the Elements a worthy opponent.

554. -This goes for every non-Friendship is Magic villain ever, including, but not limited to: Darth Vader, Freddy Krueger, Jason Voorhees, any incarnation of the Joker, Doctor Doom, Count Olaf, etc…

555. My motto is not "I solemnly swear I am up to no good."

556. -Nor is it the motto of any mischievous character.

557. I'm not allowed to call any black pony by the nickname "Black Beauty".

558. I'm not allowed to point out plot holes.

559. I'm not allowed to ask Luna if she likes moonshine.

560. -She won't get the joke anyway.

561. I'm not allowed to ask Diamond Tiara if she's Jewish.

562. If Rainbow Dash and Applejack are racing, I'm not allowed to say "banging coconuts together, then?"

563. -They couldn't look at each other for a week without bursting into laughter. It was pathetic.

564. I'm not allowed to suggest silly deathtraps ideas to Ahuizolt.

565. -Nor good deathtraps ideas.

566. I'm not an oracle. I should stop trying to predict things.

567. I am expressly forbidden from kidnapping the Cake twins and raise them as my own.

568. I'm not allowed to sneak inside Celestia's School For Gifted Unicorns and kidnap the students.

569. -No, not even just one.

570. I'm not allowed to replace anypony with their parallel universe counterpart.

571. I'm not allowed to call Blueblood "Prince Charmless".

572. -Even if Rarity agrees.

573. I'm not allowed to play matchmaker with my favorite pairings.

574. I'm not allowed to doodle on Twilight's books if I value my life.

575. -Same goes for Spike's comics.

576. I'm not allowed to tell others that Cranky is an old softy and that he just needs a hug.

577. I'm not allowed to tell Luna her whole redemption thing is just a figment of her imagination and that she's still on the Moon.

578. I'm not allowed to reorganize Twilight's books without her knowledge.

579. I'm not allowed to mess with Rarity's mane.

580. Twilight Sparkle is not the Princess of Uranus.

581. Yes, all members of the Wonderbolts are pegasi. No, the Wonderbolst are not racists.

582. I'm not allowed to challenge a changeling to an impressions contest.

583. I'm not allowed to foalsit. Ever.

584. I'm not allowed to teach Pinkie Pie about diabetes.

585. I'm not allowed to try and take over Equestria.

586. I'm not allowed to wake up the whole city at three in the morning claiming that Spike wants to steal my stuff.

587. I'm not allowed to use Twilight's tree as firewood.

588. I'm not allowed to convince Rainbow Dash to do a Double Rainboom.

589. I'm not allowed to eat Derpy's muffins.

590. I'm not allowed to dislike Pinkie's parties.

591. I'm not allowed to hold a rave at the Everfree Forest.

592. I'm not allowed to call Cranky an ass.

593. -Even if he is one.

594. I'm not allowed to make dirty jokes about Rarity's pussy.

595. I'm not allowed to date somepony just to make my ex jealous.

596. I'm not allowed to be a referee to Rainbow Dash and Applejack's arguments.

597. I'm not allowed to hold a conversation with one of Rarity's mannequin.

598. A. K. Yearling is not Daring Do, and I should stop trying to prove otherwise.

599. I'm not allowed to ask Pinkie or Dashie to prank my ex.

600. -I'm also not allowed to ask Celestia to banish my ex to Moon.

**I'm open to suggestions for more things that I can't do!**

reykan: I didn't get the reference (if there's a reference!). So I'll see if I'll use your suggestions latter.


	7. 601 - 700

601. I'm not allowed to fake my own death with ketchup.

602. I'm not allowed to add "if you know what I mean" at the end of every sentence.

603. I'm not allowed to tell Fluttershy that I find her wings extremely erotic and then proceed to stroke them.

604. -I'm also not allowed to say "you know you want it…" to Fluttershy when she starts panicking.

605. I'm not allowed to pretend to have a secret relationship with anypony.

606. I'm not allowed to invite everypony to an orgy at Celestia's bedchamber.

607. I'm not allowed to call Derpy my "love muffin".

608. I'm not allowed to invite Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash to an ultimate prank war.

609. I'm not allowed to hit on anypony, male or female, unsupervised.

610. I'm not allowed to eat in an erotic manner in the presence of foals ever again. Twist is still on therapy.

611. I'm not allowed to claim Discord, Luna, Pinkie Pie, Cheese Sandwich, Coco Pommel, Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash or Spike as my sidekick in the never-ending fight against boredom.

612. -I'm not allowed to claim anypony as my sidekick.

613. I'm not allowed to give Shining Armor a late bachelor party.

614. -It doesn't matter that I'll give him "booze, lap dances and other pleasures of the flesh".

615. -Asking for Cadance's permission changes nothing.

616. -Even if she says 'yes'.

617. The Twilight Saga is not Twilight Sparkle's autobiography.

618. -It isn't her self-insert fic either.

619. Even if I'm a pony, and he's a four-headed hydra trying to kill me, marriage proposals are still taken seriously.

620. Replace Berry Punch's booze for water is a bad idea all around.

621. -Drink her alcohol is even worse.

622. I'm not allowed to climb a tree in the middle of the night and shout: "You can run but you can't hide!"

623. -I'm not allowed to shout in the middle of the night unless it's a life or death situation.

624. I'm not allowed to paint the royal guards armor.

625. -Even if I think rainbows go better with their coats.

626. -I'm not allowed to call the royal guards "Rainbow Warriors" after I paint their armor.

627. I'm not allowed to walk up to Applejack and say "I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog too!"

628. I'm not allowed to have Applejack bake me a pie and then throw it on her face.

629. -Pinkie Pie is okay with that, though.

630. I'm not allowed to tell rabid fanponies where Trenderhoof lives.

631. I'm not allowed to ask Twilight how something can be bitter and sweet at the same time. Last time I lost three weeks just learning the basic about taste buds.

632. I'm not allowed check for a heart inside the big green statue located in Manehattan.

633. -I'm not allowed to attempt to convert said statue into a giant robot.

634. -It being "bucking awesome" changes nothing.

635. I am not allowed to put my music so loud that everypony in town can hear it.

636. -Expressly not Disneigh songs.

637. -Or Sapphire Shores.

638. -And I can forget anything sung by Scootaloo.

639. I'm not allowed to call Babs Seed "BS".

640. Yes, Spike and I are both fans of Power Ponies. No, Spike and I cannot go to Comic Con for the weekend without telling Twilight.

641. I'm not allowed to discuss who's the best Power Pony with Spike.

642. I don't have the right to an army of robots.

643. -Even if I built them myself.

644. I'm not allowed to start drunken riots in Canterlot.

645. I'm not allowed take Berry Punch to a bar, pub or winery.

646. -Even if she bribes me with a forbidden spell book.

647. -Or a tasty cupcake.

648. Being Princess of Uranus is nowhere near my true calling.

649. -Being a Princess _of anything_ is not my true calling _at all_.

650. I'm not allowed to use Photo Finish's camera to take selfies.

651. I'm not allowed to ask Gilda how gryphons mate and then ask for a demonstration.

652. I'm not allowed to give anypony a lap dance during one of the Mayor's speeches at the city hall.

653. -I'm not allowed to give lap dances during any of the Mayor's speeches.

654. I'm not allowed to dye Celestia's fur pink.

655. I'm not allowed to go all the way with five colts and a kangaroo. At. The. Same. Time.

656. -Even if Rainbow Dash dared me to do it in the first place.

657. I'm not allowed to open an adult movie store right in front of the school.

658. Even if I think that Rarity looks better without makeup, I shouldn't throw all of it away.

659. I'm not allowed to trust Sweetie Belle with cooking.

660. -Nor Spike.

661. I'm not allowed to insult polka in front of Cheese Sandwich.

662. -Nor muffins in front of Derpy.

663. -Nor apples in front of the Apple Family.

664. I shouldn't spread rumors about Cadance's 'pregnancy'.

665. -Especially if I say that Shining Armor isn't the father.

666. Switching Rainbow Dash and Rarity's wardrobe is never a good idea.

667. I'm not allowed to sing Disneigh songs. Ever.

668. -If I make a duet with Scootaloo, the results will be deadly.

669. I'm not a doctor, my name is not 'Horrible' and no, I can't have a blog.

670. -Not even a sing-along one.

671. I'm not allowed to beat Luna's best score at a videogame.

672. I'm not allowed to throw Scootaloo out of a cliff in order to teach her how to fly.

673. I'm not allowed to say that Pinkie's parties suck.

674. -No, not even a little.

675. I'm not allowed to join Discord's fan club.

676. -I'm also not allowed to create one.

677. I'm not allowed to throw a party bigger than Trixie's ego.

678. I'm not allowed to stab ponies with a toothpick.

679. Rainbows are not made of foals who failed their flight exam and I should stop saying otherwise.

680. Rainbow Dash is not the head of the Rainbow Factory, and I should stop implying otherwise.

681. If I'm to say anything about Pinkie's cupcakes being made out of ponies Pinkie Pie has permission from Celestia herself to test the recipe with me as an ingredient.

682. I'm not allowed to blame everything on Spike.

683. -Nor Discord.

684. -Fluttershy is definitely out.

685. I'm not allowed to carry a mistletoe around so I get to kiss everypony in Ponyville.

686. I'm not allowed to tell Apple Bloom that she's adopted.

687. -And that I'm her real mommy.

688. I'm not allowed to teach Spike pick-up lines in order to win Rarity over.

689. Diamond dogs are sentient creatures, not pets.

690. -The same thing goes for dragons, buffalos, griffons and minotaurs.

691. I'm not allowed to break a Pinkie Promise.

692. I'm not a superhero and my archenemy is not Boring Mare, a pony who will teach you a lot of boring stuff until you're too bored to fight.

693. -Despise their similarities, Twilight Sparkle is not Boring Mare.

694. I'm not allowed to tell foals about Princess Molestia.

695. -Princess Molestia is not real.

696. -Princess Trollestia isn't real either.

697. I'm not allowed to bake a pear cake for Applejack's birthday.

698. -Pears are not allowed inside Sweet Apple Acres.

699. -Oranges are okay, though.

700. I shouldn't sleep when there's a mob of angry ponies after me.

**I'm open to suggestions for more things that I can't do!**

UrbanSteel: Yes! I love Ultra Fast Pony (I also like Friendship is Witchcraft). BTW: rule 160 will only kill me if Cadance finds out, so don't tell her! Thanks for the suggestions! P.S.: how did you discover that I'm a filly?

reykan: thank you for the statue and royal guards suggestions!

MinecraftPwnz: thanks for the Berry Punch suggestions! But I won't use the Button Mash suggestion, as he would just think I'm talking about it's literal meaning.

uglymod: thanks for the suggestions, but I had to change the names to more... horsely singers...


	8. 701 - 800

701. It is against the rules to set Cerberus free. It causes havoc and seven ponies got hurt last time.

702. I'll stop cursing Rarity's mirrors to show her bald, she's already on the verge of a mental breakdown.

703. "It's big enough to hold a hydra" is a statement, not a challenge.

704. I'm not allowed to use a bondage mask outside my place.

705. I'm not allowed to ask Celestia how old she REALLY is.

706. I will not set Twilight on the test to calculate the exact value of pi.

707. I am not allowed to shout "OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!" every time somepony disagrees with me.

708. -I'm also not allowed to try to behead somepony after shouting said phrase.

709. -I will be sent back to Ponyville Hospital's insanity ward and undergo extensive treatment if I try.

710. I'm not allowed to say "once you go Mac, you never go back" to every passing colt.

711. Nopony cares that I'm friends with dragons, I cannot invite them to my birthday party.

712. -The fact that they're the only guests that care enough to show up changes nothing.

713. -However, I can still invite them to my birthday as long as the party is in their territory.

714. I'm not allowed to psychoanalyze Pinkie Pie.

715. -Or Cheese Sandwich.

716. -Twilight is also out.

717. I'm not allowed to say that Discord is a harmonious, organized creature compared to me. It's a one-way ticket to Ponyville Hospital's insanity ward.

718. I'm not allowed to rearrange the letters in my name to something evil sounding.

719. -Nor will I get a group of followers and call them something evil sounding.

720. -Along with the above, I will not give them similar tattoos.

721. I'm not allowed to steal Cadance's crown and declare myself the new "Crystal Empire's Tyrant" .

722. I'm not allowed to call Celestia "Sunny Flank".

723. -Even if it's an accurate description.

724. I will not convince everypony in Canterlot to ignore Luna so she thinks she's invisible.

725. -Nor will I make Luna invisible.

726. I'm not allowed to teach Trixie how to make batrachotoxin or any other dangerous compounds.

727. -I'll not teach anypony how to make any dangerous compounds.

728. -Chemists are included.

729. I'm not allowed to propose to Cadance. She's already taken.

730. I'm not allowed to steal Pinkie's chocolate.

731. -I'm not allowed to eat Pinkie's stolen chocolate inside the Castle library unless I share it with Luna.

732. I'm not allowed to date my ex's best friend.

733. -I'm also not allowed to date any of my ex's siblings.

734. I'm not allowed to ask the same pony out more than three times per week.

735. I'm not allowed to go out with more than two ponies per day.

736. I'm not allowed to dare anypony to kiss while playing "truth or dare".

737. -Especially my ex.

738. I'm not allowed to try to take over Equestria.

739. I'm not allowed to teach Applejack how to lie.

740. I'm not allowed to talk more than Pinkie Pie.

741. I'm not allowed to challenge Dashie and Trixie to a bragging battle.

742. I'm not allowed to use timberwolves as firewood.

743. -Twilight's books aren't a good substitute.

744. Calling Diamond Tiara a "spoiled bitch" will result in punishment.

745. -Even if she's out of earshot.

746. -It doesn't matter that I think it's unfair to be punished for telling the truth.

747. I'm not allowed to put any kind of laxative in anything that can be consumed.

748. Breaking Luna's videogame is suicide and nopony will cry at my funeral.

749. I'm not allowed to handcuff two ponies together.

750. -Saying that the only way to open the handcuffs is "forty minutes of make out" will result in extra punishment.

751. -If I lost the key I better start running.

752. An orgy is not the best way to "form everlasting bonds of friendship" between ponies.

753. When addressing to a Princess I should call her 'Princess', not mom, mistress, boss, chief, queen, lover, league, silly filly, etc…

754. The activities that happen in my favorite book are not real, therefore I should not attempt to recreate them.

755. I'm no longer allowed to talk to the others inmates at Ponyville Hospital's insanity ward. It has been noted that I'm bad for their mental health.

756. The Mayor will no longer send a search party if I feel the need to get lost in the Everfree Forest for the tenth time this weekend.

757. I will not spread the rumor that Twilight Sparkle is adopted and that her real mom is Princess Luna.

758. I'm not allowed to braid Big MacIntosh's mane

759. -Even though he liked it.

760. I will not run up to the Castle and slap the royal guards with bananas, no matter how humorous the results.

761. I'm not allowed to wash Rainbow Dash's mane and tail with bleach.

762. Broadcast Scootaloo singing over the entire town results in severe punishment.

763. I'm not allowed to plagiarize anypony.

764. -Even if nopony knows about the original.

765. Telling Cadance that Shining Armor cheated on her with Chrysalis before their marriage is wrong.

766. -I also cannot tell Shining Armor that Cadance cheated on him with Twilight Sparkle.

767. I'm not allowed to dye Rarity's mane green.

768. Spike is not having an affair with Gummy. End of story.

769. Spike is not looking for 'his precious'.

770. Telling everypony that I'm Fluttershy's sexual slave is wrong.

771. -This goes double if she's within earshot.

772. -Triple if I touch her in a seductive way.

773. I'm not allowed to curse Twilight so that every book she tries to read turns into tentacle erotica.

774. I'm not allowed to tell Filthy Rich that Diamond Tiara is dating the drunken conpony from down the lane.

775. -It doesn't matter that I'm saying it because it's true and I'm worried.

776. I'm not allowed to keep a creature from the Everfree Forest under my bed.

777. -Especially if it is ten times the size of my bed.

778. Shaving Opalescence is strictly forbidden.

779. -Shaving any pet that is not mine without its owner permission is wrong.

780. I'm not allowed to give Flim and Flam dog collars.

781. -Nopony cares that I can't tell which is which.

782. I will not use a truth spell on Rainbow Dash to confirm our suspicions that she is, indeed, a lesbian.

783. -I'll also not said spell to make Applejack confess that she's into bondage.

784. -Even though I really believe that her rope is a huge indicator.

785. I will stop sending lesbian porn to Rainbow Dash, she knows it's me and she's not amused.

786. If anypony hear the statement "come on, it'll be fun! Now put on this helmet and go for it!" they'll stop whatever I'm doing immediately.

787. The Castle is not my playground.

788. I'm not allowed to turn myself in at Ponyville Hospital's insanity ward just to get free food.

789. Ponyville Hospital's insanity ward's staff will not give me a certificate of insanity and I should stop asking.

790. I'm not allowed to try to do something just because somepony said it was impossible.

791. I'm not allowed to go to school in my underwear.

792. I'm not allowed to monologue during battles.

793. -Nor when I'm talking to my psychiatrist.

794. -I'm not allowed to monologue, period.

795. I'm not allowed to skip my appointments with my psychiatrist.

796. -No, I don't have better things to do.

797. I'm not allowed to use 'traumatic foalhood' as an excuse for everything.

798. The Crystal Heart is worth more than ten thousands of me; so I. Won't. Touch. It.

799. Nurse Redheart will have to put me in a straightjacket if I don't behave.

800. -I'm not allowed to rip through my straightjacket.

**I'm open to suggestions for more things that I can't do!**

uglymod: just because your suggestion has a mistletoe and one of the items of my list also has a mistletoe, it doesn't mean that I took credit for your idea. I mean, your suggestion was to hang the mistletoe over somepony's groin to see what happens, while mine was that I walked around with one to kiss everypony in Ponyville. I think the only similar thing between your suggestion and mine is a mistletoe. Anyway, no hard feelings! And I'm really, really sorry if I made you sad! P.S.: I used your suggestions about plagiarism!

xXxjfreed21xXX: thanks for the chemical and invisible suggestions. P.S.: I changed Spike to Luna, because I think it's funnier this way (I mean, think about what made her go evil in the first place...)


	9. 801 - 900

801. Spike is a wingless dragon. Not a dinosaur.

802. Discord doesn't need my help spreading chaos across Equestria.

803. I'm not allowed to challenge Fluttershy to a staring contest.

804. No, nopony wanna build a snowpony, I must stop asking about it

805. -Asking in song changes nothing.

806. I'm not allowed to force Blueblood to marry me in order to become a Princess.

807. -Bribe him into marrying me isn't much better.

808. -Especially if I plan on killing him afterwards.

809. Running out of cupcakes is not an international crisis.

810. I'm not allowed to have Discord as my roommate.

811. -Chrysalis is also out.

812. -I better not even start thinking about Sombra.

813. I'm not allowed to have a roommate bigger than my house.

814. "Silly Filly" and "Dolt Colt" aren't affectionate nicknames.

815. I'm not allowed to redecorate Twilight's room with pictures of Celestia.

816. I'm not allowed to bust out the others inmates at Ponyville Hospital insanity ward.

817. -Nor the inmates at the Castle's Dungeons.

818. I'm not allowed to play hide-and-seek at the Everfree Forest.

819. I'm not allowed to get everypony in Canterlot to sing "If you love Princess Luna clap your hooves!" with choreography.

820. -Even though she liked it.

821. Applejack does not have an inappropriate relationship with her brother and I'll stop implying that she does.

822. -Same rule applies to Braeburn.

823. I'm not allowed to shout "I'm surrounded by homosexuals!" at random intervals.

824. -Even if it's true.

825. I'm not allowed to wear a "Team Spike" or "Team Fancy Pants" shirt around Rarity.

826. "Team Blueblood" is just out of question.

827. I'm not allowed to sell Rainbow Dash into slavery, no matter how much Gilda, Lightning Dust or Scootaloo offers me.

828. I'm not allowed to tell Cadance and Twilight that I'm pregnant with Shining Armor's foal.

829. I'm not allowed to tell ponies that Big MacIntosh does it "strong and silent".

830. No part of Big Mac's anatomy shall be referred as "Little MacIntosh"

831. I'm not allowed to get a large crowd to stare at Fluttershy.

832. Though it is admittedly hilarious, having loud, awkward conversations about who is top and who is bottom in Appledash while Applejack and Rainbow Dash are within earshot will result in them both hating me.

833. I'm not allowed to list the worst case scenario every time somepony asks what could possibly go wrong.

834. I'm not allowed to shout "This. Is. EQUESTRIA!" before charging into battle.

835. I'm not allowed to tell Spike that Rarity wants to meet him tonight. Then tell him she's waiting for him in some obscure location and see if he actually goes and how long he waits there before he realizes that I lied.

836. I will stop asking Rainbow if she wants a cupcake

837. -Or leave them everywhere she goes.

838. I'm not allowed to talk in rhyme whenever Zecora is around.

839. -I'm not allowed to talk in rhyme, period.

840. I'm not allowed to apply Rule 34.

841. -Rule 63 is also out.

842. There's no such thing as a village of blank flanks inside the Everfree Forest and I should stop implying otherwise.

843. "Don't touch this!" is not a challenge.

844. I am not allowed to try to eat Pinkie's mane to see if it's cotton candy.

845. -I am not allowed to ask Discord turn her mane into cotton candy either.

846. I'm not allowed to tell Lyra that I used to be a human.

847. –I'm also not allowed to tell her that I know a spell that can turn her into a human.

848. I am not to try and test if Celestia has a dark half.

849. -I'm not to call her dark half "Trollestia", nor "Molestia".

850. -I will not try to bring out Molestia by rubbing Celestia with bananas.

851. I'm not allowed to refer to Twilight and Spike as "Hiccup and Toothless".

852. I'm not allowed to start Friendship Reports with "once upon a time".

853. -"It was a dark and stormy night" is also out.

854. I'm not allowed to question the stallionhood of any Princess.

855. "When in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout" is not the standard operating procedure for Royal Guards.

856. "It followed me home" is not a valid excuse for keeping a changeling as a pet.

857. I'm not allowed to encourage Scootaloo to sing as a form of torture.

858. Waking me up in the morning is not "disturbing an ancient evil that knows no pity or remorse".

859. Threatening an evil unicorn with dark magic is a bad idea all around.

860. Diamonds are not Rarity's best friends. But they rank pretty high.

861. I'm not allowed to consider Fluttershy "girlfriend material".

862. -At least until she convinces Rainbow Dash to not kill me.

863. -And Discord.

864. -And pretty much everypony else, really.

865. I'm not allowed to join the Ponytones.

866. I'm not allowed to tie Celestia up and make her watch me eating a delicious cake without giving her any.

867. I'm not allowed to yell at Big MacIntosh for using all of my condoms.

868. I'm not allowed to smile out of nowhere during my appointments with my psychiatrist. It makes her feel the need to run from the room screaming.

869. I'm not allowed to tell anypony other than my psychiatrist about the inner workings of my mind, since when I told them to Celestia she sat in a corner and cried for several hours.

870. There's a huge difference between "Mare in the Moon" and "Moony Mare".

871. Singing doesn't fall under freedom of speech.

872. I'm not allowed to give classes at Ponyville School when the teacher is sick. It took Cheerilee three weeks to get the foals back to normal.

873. I'm not allowed to talk to my imaginary friend in public.

874. I'm not allowed to carry around a black notebook with "Death Note" written on top.

875. -I'm also not allowed to curse said notebook so everypony who touches it starts seeing a flying monster.

876. I'm not allowed to ask Rarity where foals come from.

877. Bribing Celestia with cake to get me out of trouble is not an honorable thing to do.

878. Rainbow Dash doesn't appreciate hearing "I'm scared. Can I sleep with you?" on stormy nights.

879. -Especially if I break into her house.

880. When Princess Celestia says "no" she means it. Therefore I should not go around asking the same question to the rest of the Princesses until I get an answer that I'm satisfied with.

881. I am not in slow motion.

882. Books are for reading, not building a book fort.

883. If my main motive for doing something is causing confusion, evil or chaos I'm automatically not allowed to do it.

884. I'm not allowed to teach foals dirty jokes.

885. If I answer "you can prove nothing" to every question others will eventually get suspicious.

886. When I say that Starswirl "hangs lower" than other stallions, I must specify that I'm talking about his beard.

887. I'm not allowed to ask Shining Armor if I can feel his horn.

888. -Same goes for every other unicorn.

889. I'm not allowed to challenge Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich to a triple goof-off.

890. I'm not allowed to eat anything Sweetie Belle cooked.

891. I'm not allowed to start a rebellion against Celestia and claim that it was Luna's idea.

892. -Even if it was.

893. A manticore is not a "big, fluffy pussycat", it is a dangerous creature. I'm not allowed to have one.

894. Goldie Delicious is not a cross dresser.

895. -Even though she really sounds like a colt.

896. I must not fantasize about the Princesses.

897. -Celestia is too good for me, anyway.

898. -And Cadance is married...

899. -Shining will kill me before I date his sister.

900. -And Celestia will banish me if I break Luna's heart.

**I'm open to suggestions for more things that I can't do!**

Lightbulb: thanks for the Pinkie suggestions!

Christ's Disciple: thanks for the Lyra suggestion!

uglymod: You're welcome! I had a fun time giving that random large speech to you! Thanks for the suggestions!

NamikazeMinato Kiiroi Senko: thanks for the Molestia/Trollestia suggestion!

Guest(s): GREAT SUGGESTIONS!

Hawkeye Tyler: silly creature, we don't have Mario in Equestria! Plus, I already created a paradox (see rule 177)! Thanks anyway!


	10. 901 - 1000

901. Next time I have a Family Reunion I must warn the rest of the city so they can find a place to hide and make sure they leave an offering of food and booze outside their doorstep.

902. Any idea that includes the phrase "Giant Robot" is to be automatically rejected.

903. No, Cheerilee won't give me a private sex ed. class and I should stop asking.

904. I'm no longer allowed to challenge Rainbow Dash to a match of tic-tac-toe. It was three weeks before she conceded a draw.

905. Yes, the crystal ponies are a thousand years late. No, that doesn't justify putting all of them in summer school.

906. I'm not allowed to go off my medication.

907. -I'm not allowed to pretend I have any medication to be on.

908. If a Princess says to never do something, it is not because she want to control my mind.

909. -Yes, it is.

910. If a mind controlling spell is discovered, it is to be turned over to the proper authorities. It is not to be used for sex.

911. -Using said mind controlling spell in a strip club is right out.

912. I'm not from an alternate timeline.

913. -I cannot issue orders to preserve the timeline.

914. -Nor to corrupt the timeline.

915. -Nor to "screw with those history nerds".

916. Discord and I are not allowed to interact without the presence of a responsible authority figure.

917. -Spike does not count as a responsible authority figure.

918. -Nor does Blueblood.

919. I'm not allowed to ask Flim and Flam if they do twincest.

920. -Nor ask them if they would do it for a bit.

921. -Nor describe in graphic detail what twincest is for foals.

922. Cupcakes are not the solution to every question.

923. -Nor is "more cupcakes".

924. -Nor is "cupcake cannon".

925. -Except for that one time. And yes, it was awesome.

926. Twilight Sparkle magical potencial is not "over 9000".

927. If it involves doing something wrong, it isn't right.

928. If it involves doing something right, I did it wrong.

929. I'm not allowed to declare war on any country, thing or creature.

930. Yes, unicorns can control the weather with their magic. No, pegasi are not the "useless race".

931. A full minute of stunned silence means "Oh my Princess, what did you do?!", not "Please continue."

932. The "Discord's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry" is just a plain bad idea.

933. I'm not a vampire. That was just body glitter and bad, bad acting.

934. I'm not allowed to refer to Winona as "Applejack's bitch".

935. -Even if technically she is.

936. No matter how many times I may claim it, no matter how many uniforms the Princesses may confiscate, and no matter how many mangas I read, I'm not a ninja, nor have I ever been.

937. I'm not allowed to send anything into the past, future, or alternate dimensions.

938. "Challenge Accepted" is not a valid excuse for anything.

939. I'm not allowed to pick my next boyfriend based on hoof shoe size.

940. -Nor tongue size.

941. Cultural awareness is important. However, claiming Carnivore Culture Day is still unacceptable.

942. Despite what I may say and any evidence, no matter how plausible, Discord has never and will never be my great-great-grandparent.

943. -Same rule applies to Sombra, Nightmare Moon and Chancellor Puddinghead.

944. I'm no longer invited to the Annual Hearth's Warming Eve Pageant of any town.

945. -I'm not allowed to host my own Hearth's Warming Eve Pageant.

946. -The Hearth's Warming Eve Pageant is cancelled indefinitely.

947. "Because reasons" will no longer be accepted as a viable excuse.

948. Applejack is not in possession of any of the following: applemobile, apple suit, appleclaw, applecave and applerangs.

949. -She does, however, have an apple-lasso.

950. I'm not allowed to show porn to foals under the excuse of being a sex ed. class.

951. -NO, it is NOT educational. Not the way I show it.

952. "Because there's an alternate universe me who wouldn't do it" is no longer a valid reason for doing anything.

953. I'm not allowed to reenact any scene from "Daring Do".

954. -No, not even if I invite Rainbow Dash and Twilight.

955. I am not allowed to yell "MORPHING TIME!" every time a changeling changes form.

956. -I'm also not allowed to bribe a changeling to say it.

957. Yes, the Crystal Castle is extremely large, but the crystal fair is an outside event.

958. I'm not allowed to bribe Zecora into teaching me potions.

959. I'm not allowed to lock Spike out of the library so that me and Twilight can have some "grownup time".

960. -Twilight and I can only have "grownup time" if, and only if, we get married first.

961. I'm not allowed to practice my evil laugh in public.

962. Twilight Sparkle doesn't like to be reminded about the time she was 'stoned.'

963. I'm not allowed to plant bombs all over the castle, the threaten everypony with a detonation button.

964. -_Pretend_ to plant bombs all over the castle, then threaten everypony with a fake detonation button is also out.

965. I'm not the "final boss" of anything.

966. I may not refer to anypony as a "peasant."

967. I'm not to be referred to as "The Next Princess".

968. I'm not allowed to use anything dangerous for the purpose of "being creative".

969. I'm not allowed to declare snowball fight during the Grand Galloping Gala.

970. -Nor during the Summer Sun Celebration.

971. -Even if I have a ton of snow from last Winter hidden at my place.

972. The greatest weapon we can inflict on the enemy is NOT dropping a school bus full of retarded foals on them.

973. I'm not allowed to use of double, triple or higher numbers of negatives to obtain permission to do something.

974. I'm not allowed to perform any tests or experiments utilizing the reproductive organs of any dead or living being, including myself.

975. I'm not allowed to accuse ponies of being Mirror Pond clones of myself with the intention of having them zapped, unless they actually are duplicates of myself.

976. I'm not the Mirror Pond clone of anypony.

977. I'm allowed to have Twilight Sparkle get into arguments with trolls.

978. -Same goes for Rainbow Dash.

979. -Pinkie Pie is also out.

980. -I better not even start thinking about Discord.

981. Discord has no interest in "summoning demons to the pony universe to serve me as slaves".

982. I'm not allowed to use the Mirror Pond to have endless food.

983. -Especially because it tastes terrible.

984. I'm not allowed to yell "Immigration!" near any foreign creature.

985. I'm not allowed to accept or use the following as payment for bets: sentient creatures, a virgin's blood, Canterlot, firstborn foals, gold spun from straw, a foal's laughter, a foal's tears, anypony's virginity or alicornhood.

986. I'm not allowed to reach alicornhood. Ever.

987. Yes, empirical evidence is the foundation of science. Yes, blind faith is the death of reason. No, this does not logically imply that I'm ethically obligated to demonstrate the existence of sex under any sort of condition.

988. It's okay to watch the Great Dragon Migration. However, watch the Dragon Mating Season is not.

989. -Especially if I take Spike with me.

990. -No, it did not count as "a very important lesson that Spike will need during his adulthood".

991. I'm not allowed to seduce Rarity, it'll break Spike's heart.

992. -I'm not allowed to set Spike up with Sweetie Belle so I can finally date Rarity.

993. -It doesn't matter that it's more age appropriate this way.

994. I'm not allowed to question Fancy Pants about his lack of pants.

995. I'm not allowed to keep a breezie as a pet.

996. I'm NOT: a superhero of any sort, a Princess, doctor of psychology, an honorary Apple, made out of bacon, lover of a Princess, a sane pony nor a sex ed. teacher.

997. I'm not allowed to create a "Things I'm Allowed To Do In Equestria" list by listing everything that isn't on this list. Just because it isn't on this list doesn't mean I should do it.

998. -I may, however, request for one to be created.

999. -I may not, however, suggest what should be on said list.

1000. There's no rule 1000; it's just a reminder to obey the rest of the rules.

**I'm no longer open to suggestions...**

reykan:thanks for the Zecora and carnivorous suggestios!

Hawkeye Tyler: well, I just called you a silly creature because I'm not really sure what you are. I mean, there're a bunch of creatures that with hawkeyes, like griffons and hawks and hipogriffs, you got the idea.

uglymod: Already used (see rule 71). Thanks anyway!

This fic is oficially finished. I want to thank everyone for reading, reviewing, following and favoriting the fic, you guys are awesome!


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